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What if?

What if he only likes her because she’s skinny and flexable? What if he only likes her because of her looks?

What does that make me? What does that make everyone else that was close to him? What does that make us?

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11:11

On 11:11 I don’t wish for the one person I use to wish for every time.
I don’t pray for that person anymore.

We are best friends and he has a girlfriend that is my bestfriend as well.
I don’t pray he will come back because I don’t love him that way.

Not I wish for the person who was there all along.
I pray for the person who hasn’t put me down and who has been there my whole life.

In a way, the person I love now I have always loved but I haven’t always loved this person this way. I will always love him through what ever we go through, because he loves me like a sister and would yell at a person like an older brother.
This is why we are best friends, and this is why I wish on 11:11 that it stays like this for a long time if not forever.
This is why I pray that je will be just fine in his life and bring me along for the ride that comes ahead.

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It’s not that it’s your fault. It’s not anyone’s fault.
I have a good life, and I know that my family’s loves me. I’m not saying that my life is terrible or that I hate it.

I just really don’t care anymore. I’ve now lost not one but two really important people that I loved so much. Just to be real, I lost one of them a long time ago and I’m still trying to get them back. The one I lost use to love me but not anymore.
I kid you not, It’s not like I’m not friends with them anymore. We are still best friends.  They both have to beautiful girlfriends that are ntouchable compared to anyone’s beauty.

I just don’t even know why I’m sad this time. I don’t know but I am. I’m nervous, that I will lose the people I want everytime.

I’m ready for tomorrow, it’s a new day and I will   I will be with the people I lost.

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petal-pushings:

I hate when you’re sad for no reason; you’re with people, you’re fine, you’re happy, you’re laughing and smiling, but at the same time it almost feels like you’re not there. You keep dazing in and out of conversations, you cant focus on one single thing. And once you’re by yourself you don’t want to do anything, you’re sad and feel alone. Someone asks you what’s wrong and you want to tell them, but you don’t even know what’s wrong yourself.

(Source: pieceofquart, via fifty-shades-of-fucked--up)